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  • Tasha Carroll

Call a Spade a Spade

Updated: Jan 16

The concept of will-power has become such a natural term associated with wellness. Those that do choose to eat quality food, choose not to overindulge, choose to run instead of watch TV, workout instead of sleep in, drink water instead of pop. Will-power. They’ve got it.

We’ve all experienced it. Some have mastered it. For others, it’s a fleeting notion or only shows itself in circumstances unrelated to physical wellness.

We attribute our level of will-power to our success or failure in our day to day wellness. This abstract, mentality based buzzword is the determining factor in our cholesterol level, body fat mass, weight, disease risk, fitness status, and even self-esteem. In other words, we give our will-power a TON of credit. Or a ton of responsibility, depending if your will-power is thriving or lacking that day.

I was pondering the other day. What if we de-hyphenate it? Lose the word ‘will’ completely. Let’s call it what it is:


You are powerful. As human beings, we inherently possess 100% power over ourselves; our thoughts, our mindset, our choices. This needs to sink in. You are powerful. You hold all the power over yourself. You have the power to make the choices required to reap the results you want.

But so often, we give it away. We so easily give our power away to the circumstance, to the craving, the psychological or physiological phenomena that we are experiencing in any given moment. We give our power away to other people. Our loved ones that prepare our meals, do our grocery shopping, stock our cupboards, or maybe just dictate what goes on the shopping list and lands in our cupboards. We give our power up to comfort. Do you want to feel powerful or comfortable? Seriously, think about it!

A client recently told me a story. He was across the country visiting his sisters. He rarely spends any time with his siblings anymore; it was a meaningful visit. His one sister is frugal, by necessity, though she knew he liked to enjoy an occasional cocktail with high-end (i.e expensive) gin. He arrived to her home, and sure enough, her hospitality and love for her brother overrode her need for frugality, and chilled in the door of the fridge was a bottle of Bombay Sapphire. How rude if he didn’t show his appreciation and affirm that she totally nailed it; so he drank half the bottle the first night he arrived.

Call this giving your power away to loved ones, to circumstances, to booze; call it all three. My question is, could the same result have been achieved, the unspoken communication of gratefulness and acknowledgment, without consuming half a bottle of gin within hours of arriving? Can you maintain your innate power over your mind and your choices and have one or two light cocktails and express how much you look forward to savoring the gift for the duration of the stay?

That is the ultimate question. Can you drop the buzzword of will-power and call a spade a spade?

It’s power. Your own personal power. Why do you keep giving it away?