This summer I had all the energy for wellness. I was motivated, focused, and committed. I ran almost every evening without a second thought. I kicked it in at the end of every run and adored the exhaustion. I never over ate. My Dad said I was “eating like a bird”. He was right. I was eating light. It felt so good. And the crazy thing was, I just had this energy for it that made it feel effortless.
I set a weight goal that I wanted to meet on my birthday, July 10th, the peak of summer. I met it. I have set so many goals over the years that have just come and gone, unmet. This time it was different. It just happened. It was this energy! I felt the best I’d ever felt. And it felt right, like “this is me”. It felt so sustainable because of how effortless it seemed. The positive food choices, light portions, running, and total confidence was simply a part of me, not something I was striving for.
But then it didn’t last. I started a new job. The the season changed to fall, bringing with it a lot less evening daylight for running. The energy just disappeared, or at least diminished. If my energy for wellness were a light, the dimmer switch had been dialed way down. I didn’t get it. It had felt like such an innate part of my being just weeks earlier. I had refined and mastered my optimal wellness regime. What happened?
I set on a quest to figure it out. What causes the energy to be lost?
There is also the question: How do you find the energy? Create the energy? The energy to truly commit to and realize your wellness goals. I believe these can be answered by the discovering the solution to my conundrum. If I could determine why my almighty, force of nature feeling had waned, it would also illuminate how to go about gaining it in the first place.
I pondered my thoughts whenever I had time to turn inward. What was different? What had changed? Was it simply the weather, sunshine and summertime influencing me? I’m sure that was a contributor, but that wasn’t IT. Was it the logistics of my day to day life changing? The new work hours, different demands, less time for fitness and food prep, a change in career focus. I didn’t believe that it was that obvious. I knew it wasn’t just a logistical issue. There was more behind it. Some kind of mental and emotional card at play.
Finally, I brought it to my sister.
I said, “We need to figure this out. We need to brainstorm.”
“What causes someone to lose their “energy” once they’ve so solidly possessed it? How can it just slip away?”
We spent the next hours intertwining reasoning into our conversation as different ideas sparked in our minds:
“It’s always having a goal to work towards. We need to always be striving. You lose the energy, once you reach the goal.”
“It’s having many small attainable goals. You lose the energy if the goal is too grandiose.”
“It’s putting all the emphasis on goals. You lose the energy when you are only outcome-oriented, rather than journey or lifestyle oriented.”
None of it was resonating with me. That could all be accurate in some way, sense, or form; but it wasn’t what I was experiencing. Those conclusions were not the key to the phenomenon I felt like I was subject to. This big energetic shift had to be more than that.
Then it hit me. It’s self-image.
Bear with me.
It’s the fact that I felt and knew so wholly that I was indeed expressing an ideal version of myself. I wasn’t striving to be a runner. I am a runner. It’s what I did, everyday. I wasn’t trying to stick to a diet or way of eating. I was eating light because inherently, I am a light eater. It felt good, and it felt right, and it felt effortless because it’s who I am and who I’d always been, and I had just now decided to respect it. And when I did honor that feeling of what was so right, my mind and body responded. It responded with the ENERGY I needed to support it all.
So, what’s the point to all of this? The point is huge! In order to ultimately achieve what you most want in wellness and life you must know that it is inherently you. You must feel that it is already a part of you. A part of you that you need to to honor and respect by making decisions and choices based on the legitimacy and realness of it. Our mission is to figure out exactly who or what we are; a runner, a yogi, a health nut, a mindful eater, an active person, an entrepreneur, a leader, an artist, an engineer… (hint: you are whatever you want and choose to be).
The goal then becomes honoring that. Being true to it always.